December 12, 2011
An Apology/David Cameron Wets Himself At Eurozone

It seems like all I do on this blog is apologise these days; first it was UCAS forms, then Oxford tests, then Oxford interviews, and now it’s just Oxford waiting. I just can’t bring myself to write anything under this kind of stress - I didn’t realise how out of touch I was until I returned from Oxford and discovered that David Cameron had been sat in a Eurozone conference holding a piss in for a good nine hours; and that surprisingly it hadn’t made him sharper.

Presumably what happened was Sarkozy agreed to the treaty; “David, we just need a ‘oui’ from you and we can move on” and then David Cameron suddenly went mad and shouted “NO, NO I DO NOT NEED A WEE”. What an utter fool. Someone on my Facebook said he has balls. That may be, but a. clearly they were full of piss, and b. clearly he was thinking with them.

In other news, letters for Oxford start being sent out on Thursday and fuck me am I scared. I drank the last of the gin today, and there are two shots of vodka in a bottle in my room, but I doubt they’ll last the week. And I’m overdrawn. Fucking fucks.

P.S. Hah! That got your attention; I might write misleading headlines more often.

  1. its-london-calling posted this