It’s been a really long time since I’ve properly written something on here, and much as I’d like to pretend that’s just because there’s been nothing quite absurd enough to write about, it’s mostly just been exams stress. I mean, let’s face it, in the past week or two, we found out that instead of running the country, our dearest Prime Minister spends most of his time sending texts ending ‘lots of love’ to the former editor of the country’s most read tabloid. If we’re investigating the overly close relationship between the government and the media, I would say we can stop. There’s no need for Lord Leveson to write a report on it; that our prime minister and the editor of The Sun sign their texts to each other ‘lots of love’ says it all.
In more absurd news, it transpired that American police fired more bullets into one man than German police fired in a whole year. Almost incredibly, while German police managed to enforce law across a whole country and only fire 85 bullets, most of which (49) Der Spiegel claims were warning shots; American officers felt the need to unload 90 bullets into an unarmed man in Los Angeles, and 84 into a man in Harlem. More one nation under the gun than one nation under God, I feel.
In lighter news, it was suggested the other day by Geoffrey Howe, Thatcher’s long time Chancellor and Foreign Secretary that ‘the imperial system makes us seem stuck in the past’ and that our mixed use of Imperial and Metric measurements (miles for distance and litres for petrol) will shame our country at the Olympics. It might’ve been a valid point if it hadn’t been made by a man dressed in a rabbit skin robe, to a house of peers that only admitted women in the 20th Century, by a man who styles himself as The Right Honourable The Lord Howe of Aberavon Kt CH QC PC. The mind boggles.
The Queen made a speech, or so I gather, mostly about Lords Reform. I didn’t listen, though I feel like I should’ve done, if only to hear the Queen’s unique perspective on the need to reform our outdated, reactionary, privileged and undemocratic institutions. Clearly what the debate on democratic reform and austerity needs is the perspective of a woman who owns several castles and wears a hat with the world’s largest refined diamond in. Having done that, she hosted a birthday dinner for herself and all the world’s remaining monarchs — tyrants on one side of the table, jealous constitutional monarchs on the other. Awkward. Prince Charles was also about in the news, reading the weather forecast for the BBC. The one that was finally broadcast was chosen as all the others contained Freudian slips like “don’t worry, mummy won’t be reigning for long”, and ”the son will shine soon”. (Sorry, those are awful).
This is really by way of an apology, my A Level exams start on the 12th of June, and given how much is riding on them, I’ve not really felt like I’ve had enough time to update this blog on a regular basis, (though it seems I don’t need to, given how many people started following me during my relative silence — thanks and ‘hi’, by the way). I’m also having a slight ageing crisis; I turn 19 on Tuesday, and I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’m not as far away from 20 as I’d like – it’s surely all downhill from here. Anyway, I’ll be posting occasionally over the next few weeks as I try not to break under the pressure, but I can’t promise anything brilliant.